Silent Prayers
by Emotionally Unstable Fangirl
Summary: People can ask and beg for what they want, very few get what they ask for. They both simply want each other.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey, here's another depressing one!

Roy= Normal

Ed= _Italics_

Disclaimer: I don't own and sadly I never will.

* * *

Silent Prayers

_I'm sorry Al, but I can't help it... Sometimes when I doubt, I...when I look at all the familiar, yet so different faces around me I regret. Every time it happens I feel this twinge of regret for doing what I did, for saving you. I know that's selfish of me, but it's there and no matter how hard I try it won't go away. I'm truly happy that you can touch and taste but I...I can't help it, it hurts being so far away._

_I'm sorry Al, but lately it's happening a lot more._

* * *

Fullmetal, where are you? Are you, dare I think it, dead? No you, that would never happen to you, your alive, but where? Are you alone? Hurt somewhere begging for someone to save you? As I lay on this bed are you losing hope for someone to rescue you?

"Roy?" Asked a hesitant female voice beside the man. Riza was sitting on a stool next to his bed, she had let her hair down so it framed her face. Her hair was shimmering in the sunlight that passed through the curtains from the window on the other side. The breeze that passed through made her hair move lightly in the air.

He gave her a sad smile. "You look lovely with your hair down, you should keep it that way."

Fullmetal, even in the fluorescent light your hair would shimmer, you may think it strange but I always noticed the lightest things about you. The way your eyes would sparkle when speaking of alchemy or the way when food was within 20 feet, your nose would automatically go up and you'd sniff the air like a dog hunting it's next meal.

* * *

_Al...Al...Colonel save me, someone save me, please. I'll go mad if I don't...if I don't see you again. I don't want to live in a world where I can't see your smirk or your egotistical face. I don't want a life where I can't hold you at night, or kiss you when I have a bad nightmare to know that it wasn't real._

* * *

Riza gave her dark eyed superior a gentle smile. She somehow knew that what he said wasn't for her, no, it was for a blond, golden-eyed youngster. She learned that her superior was enthralled with the boy a while back, but she did not care. He was a good friend, and like all good friends she wished the best for him. "He would have looked lovely with his hair down as well, sir." The onyx haired man looked at his lap as he nodded in agreement. "Now Roy. how would you like to go out today? It's been three months already since you had to go on bed rest, would you like to go see his...grave?"

The man's head shot up in shock and rage, "Ed's grave! Why does he have a grave, his body has not been found and when it is found he will be alive!" He shouted in rage at the women, who, when his outburst began, looked away and to the side. How dare they, he seethed, how dare they make him a grave, the boy was a prodigy, a hero, he never gave up and who ever should doubt him are fools!

"I'm sorry sir, but we had to..." She choked out as hot tears cascaded down her face, she too believed that Edward was alive somewhere out there. Yet, she could not let her heart believe what the facts disproved. Even the great must fall someday. She had to help her friend see that, so that he someday may find happiness, she had to help. Yet, why did it feel like she was somehow betraying Edward by trying to make Roy forget him.

* * *

_Ed looked, no, searched the ceiling of his bedroom for what felt like the billionth time. He was searching for a way, a way to somehow make the pain go away. He had been staring at the ceiling for the last three hours, as if it held the answer, yet the only thing he found was 38 tiny cracks in the plaster._

_He sighed as he turned on his side, the bed creaking slightly at the move, he closed his eyes, but quickly opened them, when he was met with images of the Colonel. "Stupid man, just go away! Stop making me feel these feelings." He growled as he pushed his face in the pillow, fisting the blanket he was lying on. Go away! I don't want your memory here, it's only making the pain worse! I have to forget somehow and with the images I see everytime I close my eyes, it won't happen._

* * *

"You had to? Why?" The man was still seeing red, he couldn't believe anyone would think the blond dead, that fiery, hot-tempered god like creature.

"Sir, he's still missing! See logic, it's been three and a half months!" The blonde got out of her chair and stared the man on the bed down as she shouted. "He's dead!"

"Don't say such things!" He shouted back as he glared at the women.

"He's not coming back." She whispered with determination.

"No." He shook his head with equal determination, she was not going to make him forget about his blond, no he would not let her fill his head with lies.

"He's dead and he can never come back." She snarled louder, "He's dead and your going to have to except that one day, Roy."

"Get out."

"Sir-"

"I said get out!" He screamed, cutting her off, she gave him a sad, pitying look.

She bent down and picked up the handbag that was next to her chair, then walked to the door, but before she turned it she looked back at her superior officer, "The faster you accept his death, the faster you will heal..." With that said, she left, leaving Roy in an unbearable silence.

He slouched in on himself as his hands went to grip the side of his head, he felt something hot stream down his face, "It's raining today..." He whispered.

* * *

_"Roy."_

* * *

"Ed."

* * *

_"I need you here, not a memory..."_

* * *

A/N: This is not complete yet, and yes the final line they say together.

EDIT: Totally didn't see the mistake I made, I got a bit of Edward and Roy's parts mixed up... But don't worry I fixed it! :3


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't know why I didn't use Mustang's part in the last chapter as normal (without bold, or italics) but I fixed it so yeah.

Disclaimer: If I did own this, well let's just say that the engagement between Ed and Roy (The battle in the anime episode 13) wouldn't have been a duel. Well it would have been one, but one of endurance and flexibility that was done inside and on other surfaces beside the cement floor. Okay maybe the cement floor. ;)

* * *

Maybe it was the Gate's way of being merciful, or maybe it was fate working her slender hand. Which ever it was, Ed and Roy got their wish.

Munich, Germany...

It had been a bleak Sunday afternoon. Yes, the sun was out, but it was covered in dark, menacing clouds that threatened to downpour on all who were unlucky to not get out from underneath them in time. Those who were out scurried into taxis and along the sidewalk, they not wishing to get wet.

Yet, one person among the crowd did not hurry to their destination, instead they walked slowly, with slumped shoulders and an air of depression surrounding them. The blond had his eyes to the ground as he walked to the university.

He stopped when he reached the corner of the block, waiting for the signal to let him cross the street, he let out a heavy sigh. He was at a standstill with his research, the rocket that he created was still not working properly, hell it didn't want to stay intact. He had a few ideas of what to do, yet, at the same time, none of the ideas felt right.

It had been a month since the day he broke down, and now he was living with Heiderich in his small apartment. He kept telling himself that the reason he moved in with the other when asked was because he felt that they were friends, but he knew deep inside it was because Heiderich looked so much what he imaged Al would have looked like. He was simply using him to quell his own emotions, he knew that he would never break in front of Al. No, Al was the only one he never do that in front of, he would always be strong for him.

What about Roy...?

The thought brought a sting of pain that went straight to his heart, it clenched around the organ and squeezed. It hurt. He could deal with physical pain, but damn it all, when it came to emotional pain he was just as weak as anyone else. He could be called a hero for his actions, but even he was still human, he was breakable.

He let out another heavy sigh, as he rubbed his face with his hands, trying to disperse the thoughts he just had. He began to hear soft footsteps heading away from his direction into the one he was heading. When he removed his hands from obscuring his eyes, he saw that some of the people who were waiting with him were crossing the street. So with heavy steps and a heavier heart he followed along.

On the way up North, Amestris...

"It's some cold weather we be having this part of the year, what makes you wanna come up, boy?" A deep, gruff male voice asked in curiosity to the man who was sitting next to him as he drove his truck through a snowstorm.

The man who was huddling in on himself pulled the fur coat tighter around his body as he replied, "It's my duty."

The driver furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Why did they send you up all the way here? Nothin but snow."

"I asked to be sent here." The onyx haired man stated in a tone of voice that left no room for question. At that moment, he didn't feel like talking, he didn't feel anything, which was what he wanted.

To feel nothing.

The driver stayed quiet for the rest of the drive, which would last another eight hours, a lifetime to the man at his side.

He slowed his truck down to a stop and parked before he said, "Alright kid, I hope you don't mind staying the night here in Bora. Don't worry I know the owner of the local inn, I'll have her cut you a deal."

The man bundled up in the fur coat nodded his head in thanks. He could understand why they stopped for the night, it was complete whiteness on the other side of the door. If he thought the blizzard before was a raging dog, then this must have been Cerberus in all his nasty glory.

He pushed open the door and jumped off the seat, landing with a muffled thump. The snow went to mid-calf, he trudged slowly across the front of the truck and to the driver's side.

With the young man at his side the driver began the agonizingly slow track from his truck, across the street and to the inn door.

By the time they got in the warmth of the lobby, the onyx haired man was a shivering mass of bones. His skin was pale and one could hear how his teeth chattered in the quite and abandoned lobby.

The women behind the counter, when she noticed this, rummaged around the underside of her desk and got up, walking swiftly to the young man's side with a blanket. The women was a red-head that appeared to be in her 30's, she was slightly chubby and had blue eyes, she gave him a warm smile as she wrapped him in the blanket. "You get use to it, honey. So, Bill," she said turning to the driver, "who is this young man?"

"The name's Roy Mustang, ma'am." He replied with the barest hint of a quiver in his voice. He wanted to sit down and warm himself up with some brandy or some other strong alcohol filled drink that would, in the end, knock him out. "Think I can get a room?"

"Course, hun." She said cheerfully as she walked back to her desk to get a key. Roy and Bill followed her, of course with a shiver in their bones, that was more recognizable in Roy's than in the Bill's. "Your room number is #3 take the left hallway, it's down the hall and to the right. Have a pleasant stay." She handed Roy the key and patted him on the shoulder with a smile.

The man nodded as he walked away, shivering form and all. He followed the women's direction which led him into a small but cozy room. The walls were painted yellow and the floor was a brown rug that had probably seen better days. There was a small mahogany desk and chair at the far side of the wall, right under the window, that had a lamp, turned off, on top of it. The bed was a single, not that he was surprised, and it was against the right side of the room with a small dresser next to it, a treasure trunk at the end. Lastly there was another door to the left, he guessed it was the bathroom.

He unwrapped himself from the makeshift cocoon that he had created with the blankets, folded it and placed it on the treasure trunk. He eyed the bed ready to just lay down and sleep, but the thought of a nice, long, hot bath seemed too good to pass. But before he was able to walk to the bathroom door a knock came from the door.

"Hey mister! Do you mind opening the door? Bill wanted me to give you something!" The voice was one of a small girl, so Roy quickly went to open the door, knowing it might have been his heavy bag he just now remembered accidentally leaving in the passenger's seat.

Sure enough, when he opened the door there stood a little girl with blonde pigtails, holding his bag with trembling arms, she gave him a toothy grin. "Thank you," he said giving the girl a small smile as he took the bag away from her.

"No problem, and by the way, mum said that breakfast is served at 9, but she said that you don't have to come that early. She'll save you something, like pancakes, they're really good! I like blueberry pancakes, what kind do you like?" She asked with the tilt of her head, her pigtails moving with her, swishing at her shoulders.

Roy kneeled down to the girl's height and gave her a smile. "I like blueberry pancakes too. Tell your mother, and if you see Bill, I said thank you."

"Sure!" She nodded her head in excitement as she ran off down the hall and to her mother. Roy straightened himself as he gazed at the young child with sadness in his eyes. She was carefree, but he knew that, with age, that carefree attitude would dissipate along with the view that the world was a beautiful place.

He closed the door and walked back to the bed, setting the bag on it, the bed dipping slightly from the weight. He opened it and began to rummage its contents looking for his pajamas. Once he found them he went into the bathroom, closed the door and turned the lock.

Munich, Germany...

It had been another tiring day at the university in which the blond had to attend for the sake of being able to work with rockets. Of course, the blond already knew it was going to be one, but he knew not to complain. After all complaining didn't make a difference.

He was on the way to his apartment, more thank ready to zonk out, when he remembered that he had forgotten to eat dinner and it was very close to approaching 8 p.m. His stomach growled, proving the point that he had in fact forgotten to eat. Again.

"Edward!"

Ed turned around to see a friend from the university waving at him from the block that he had just crossed from. The other man was motioning for him to meet him and from the excited look on his face it seemed like he had something important to tell him. Ed decided it would be best to see what exciting news the other had, so he began to run across the street.

He didn't look to see if any cars were coming.

The smile on his friend's face faded into one of sadness, he turned his head away slightly and Ed could see the way he pulled into himself. He was puzzled at the strange behavior his usually cheerful friend demonstrated. Then he saw the bright light to his left. He turned his head and the only thing he saw was that light.

Bora, up North, Amestris...

"No!" Roy screamed as he jolted upright in bed, sweat rolled off him in rivers and the man was shaking with a fright he could not describe. When he felt that his chest wasn't going to explode anymore, he began to take deep, calming breaths as he ran his fingers through his hair, tousling it slightly. He had a nightmare, he remembered that, but the contents of what happened he couldn't remember.

He unwrapped himself from the cocoon that was his blanket, swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, turning slightly to look out the window. What he saw didn't surprise him, it was still snowing out, and it seemed like it would for a very long time.

He began to rub at his eyes, wiping any disgusting rheum that could be found away. Then he shuffled over to the desk and sank down into the chair. He let out a heavy sigh as he placed his elbow directly in the middle of the hard wood top and his chin in the open palm of his right hand. He gazed out the window, trying to remember the dream. He hadn't felt that terrified since...since the dreams of Ishval and even those had become scarce.

What could it have been about...?

He turned in his chair to look at the door with a raised eyebrow, someone had just knocked. He knew it was late into the night, so who could it have been?

"Hey, mister! You okay? I heard you scream!"

It was the same voice of the owner's little girl, Roy got out of his chair and went to open the door, ready to tell her he was fine, but what he saw made his eyes widen.

She was there, but clutched in her petite hands was a revolver. She had a sad look in her eyes, "Sorry, but if I don't do this, I can't stay with mum anymore."

The last thing he remembered was seeing her small finger pull the trigger and her eyes squeezing shut.

* * *

CLIFFHANGER! Mwhahaha! Don't worry, I'm working on the next chapter as you read this, but that doesn't mean it'll be up tomorrow. Sorry kittens, I got a paper to do first. '-_-


End file.
